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Movie Results: Location: FreeMusicTransfer.com / Movies / V / Van Wilder "Van Wilder" is available for instant download.
signup now .Download this movie * | Bookmark this page Van Wilder (2002) movie quotes: "if you think to much about the future you might forget about the precent." "1. I've done alot in the last 7 years. 2. If you haven't gotten your doctrine you haven't done enough, now pack up your panties son, we are going home" "Why Doris, what is that intoxicating scent? Doris: I have cats.
MEOW!" "Hey! The doctor told me that Canine semen was pefrectly safe and actually prett.....Whoa you went clepto on my transcripts." "Sorry boy's the bakery's closed." "If he's here then who's running hell?" "It's the internet. It fries their brain cells." "1) Sometimes you gotta follow your heart. Even if it leads you to a place you'er not supposed to be.
2) And how many times has it lead you to the girls locker room?
1) This would be a first.
2) Why do I have a hard time being that?
1) I'm not saying this is my first time here. Usually its a different part of my anatomy that does the leading." "WOW, if he's here who's running Hell?" "1) Who was that girl? Was she a freshman?
2) She reads at a sophmore level." "You have no idea what Gwen wants, say hi to your girbil for me" "Van-How old are you, Sally?
Sally-Old enough to be jealous of that Gwen girl." "You must be Gwen, the truck driver." "never take life too seriously, you will never get out alive!" "Sure you've made millions of friends who at the drop of a roofy would do anything for you." "Okay, look, that old bag is a lot stronger than she looks..." "Look, the vet reassured me that canine semen is perfectly harmless..." "You score, I give you the full story. Miss, and it's dinner for two. Clothing optional." "My brothers play hockey...for the Rangers." "1)You are A: an asshole, B: an asshole who isn't staying at my place tonight, or C: all of the above. 2)What was B again?" "Wow! If he's here, who's running hell?" "Sometimes you have to recognize a bad investment and simply cut your losses. Write that down." "Those crazy kids and their crazy...VD." "1)Second date with Emily - red or blue? 2)Blue. Goes with his eyes. Kid's got killer eyes, not unlike yourself. Anyone ever told you that? 3)Yeah, my boyfriend. 2)Oh." "1)I'm not getting in that thing with you. 2)If you want the story, you'll get in this thing with me." "1)Apathy is the glove into which evil slips its hand! 2)I'll write that down." "I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Write that down." "what is that entoxicating scent youre wearing doris? I have cats. MEOW WA WA!" "Are you stalking me... because that would be super!!" "Sally- Cool song.. Whats it called? Van- Its called Gwen used me for her story and then ran over my heart with a big metaphorical truck. Redone by Air Supply. Im all out of love, Im so lost without you" "R: well didn't you?
G: well it's kinda hard in 15 seconds" "G: what do you think you're doing out there R: proving a point. you're friend doesn't fit in. pop quiz true or false...you and him have been spending an ordinate amount of time together G: true; here's a question for you: you're either A) an asshole B) not sleeping at my place tonight or C) all of the above R: what was B agian" "hey wanna go shit in the bathrooms and make the pledges clean it up...hey com'on it'll be fun" "aww poor guy just needed some TLC
" "van: what is that intoxicating scent you're wearing
*i have cats
van: meOW!
*mr. wilder you wouldnt be trying to seduce me would you?
van: who me?! NO!...
*(licking her lips)
van: HEY HEY HEY! you-ou know im feeling a cold sore coming on
*(takes a swig of whiskey) ahh that's the shit
van: may-maybe we should wait 2-3 weeks
*shut up
*oooh goo baby goooo!
*fill this out..it's the standard form extension plan
van: you mean we didn't have to...
*but aren't you glad we did? " "MAIL IT IN! MAIL IT IN!" "WE'VE GOT A JUMPER!" "jeanie: is there anything i can do for you guys...anything at all?
" "jeanie: this party so rocks richard
richard: this party sucks rectum jeanie
jeanie: O. k." "wilder is nothing but a rectal itch
" "1) EAT THE PINEAPPLE EAT THE PINEAPPLE
2) dont you think i know that
1) god you treat me like a child" "if milty can SHOVE himself into that weenie bikini then you don't have to be shy about making your donations NOW...donations are accepted in cash, credit card, check, and full frontal nudity" "1) there is NOTHING too big we can't handle
2) and we mean NOTHING
1)what we're trying to say is we won't blow the job" "CONGRATULATIONS TAJ! on your first blow job" "Those circus midgets canNOT hold their booze!" "Right that down." "Taj: This is the culmination of my being." "It's a date.
It's and interview.
Gwen first dates are interviews" "Van is not what you would call Delt Iota Cappa material.
Richard you never told me you were a dic." "That's not a bong, It's for my shlong." "your the only guy thats makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time!" "1.sorry i was late i was figuring out which undies to wear.
2. which did you decided on?
1.none
" "1. there is no job too big we can't handle
2. and we mean nothing
1. we promise we won't blow the job
" "TIMMAY!" "Remember my creedo Timmy - Don't be a fool...stay in school." "Never better my little Jasmine Flower." "Is that all you think about? I know I took this job because I wanted to cut loose and shake my rrrump, but I dont think this problem can be solved by partying!" "You see Timmy, worrying is like a rocking chair, it will keep you busy, but it wont get you anywhere... write that down." "If he is here, who's running hell?" "Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself!" "oooh gwen, you're labia feels soo good around my swollen...shit i forget what he says......oh yea, i'm releasing my seminal fluids into you now, oooh OOOHHHHHHH......are you ok?.....yea, why? didn't you?....its kinda hard in 15 seconds" "If the glove dont fit, who gives a shit
no dude, its if the glove don't fit, you're full of shit" "Take off your clothes." "You really should think about getting him neuterd. That's his decision! They are getting bigger, arent they." "You are most amazing to make m feel so Damn Hot!" "congradulations tagh! you just got your first blow job!" "Are you stalking me, because that would be awesome!" "Those damn circus midgets cannot hold thier booze!" "You can't treat everything in life like it's life or death, cause you'll die alot.
" "this is some bachloer pad wilder. decorated in early fuck" "you can tell alot about a person by the type of underwear they wear. like you granny panties i bet...does that allude to me being the plain boring type...no i just wanted a visual" "I like it here." "Woman: Are you and Richard in the same Fraternity?
Richard: Oh no, you see Van here isn't Delta Iota Kappa Material..
Van: Richard you rascal you never told me you were a DIK!
Not that you had to." "Crazy Kids and their crazy..VD." "If he's heer whos running hell" "in my country a woman's mastery of her gastronomic reflexes is an aphrodisiac" "if the glove don't fit, you're full of shit" "Van: Somtimes you have to let your heart do the leading...even if it leads you somewhere your not sapossed to be
Gwen: Does your heart always lead you into the girls lockerroom?
Van: Im not sayin Ive never been in the ladys locker room before, but its normally a different part of my inatamy that does the leading." "Van: Somtimes you have to let your heart do the leading...even if it leads you somewhere your not sapossed to be
Gwen: Does your heart always lead you into the girls bathroom?
Van: Im not sayin Ive never been in the ladys locker room before, but its normally a different part of my inatamy that does the leading." "my dad sort of gave up on me and my mom years ago. 2) well maybe 7 years of tuition is your way of getting back at him" "Wo! If he's here, who's runnin' Hell? " "whats that intoxicating scent your wearing doris?....i have cats...Meow" "Van:: Taj, Im going to have to let you go, I just dont have the resources for your services anymore. Taj::A good soldier does not leave his commander just because he is wounded, arms ripped at the sockets, intestine spilling out onto the mud, picked at by birds..I will go on at no charge!!" "muff diving" "that is not a bong, that is for my schlong" "Gwen: Is it true you've been at Cooliege for 7 years?
Van: Carry the 2.. yes thats correct" "Richard, you rascal, you never told me that your a DIK! Not that you had to!" "If he's here, who's running hell?" "Sometimes you gotta let your heart lead you even if its someplace your not supposed to be.Im not saying Ive never been in the girls locker room before, im saying its usually a different part of my anatomy that does the leading." "You cant treat every situation as a life and death matter, because youll die a lot of times." "her names naomi that I Moan backwards. (looks away then back) yeah" "Richard, you didn't tell me you were a dick" "That's not a bong, its for my shlong!" "I just wanted to bring my A game" "oh van can handle a load" "write that down.. 2) i dont have a pencil 3) well remember it then" "you have a thousand friends who in a drop a ruby would do anything for you" "Wow if he's up here...who runnin' hell?? HAHAHAHAHAHA" "You're all I love, I'm so lost without you, I know you were right...believing for so long" "Those circus midgets can NOT hold their booze!" "If the glove don't fit, your all full of shit!" "don't take life too seriously - you might not live through it" "He is the White Berry" "1) All right look, that old bag, is stronger than she looks
2) I'm doing a human interest piece...on you.
3) Oh, I'd love for your...piece to be on me. But sadly I don't do interviews, I do lunch though.." "-what is this your seventh year here?
-carry the two, yes seventh" "Are you stalking me? Because that would be super!" "Her name's Naomi .. that's 'i moan' backwards" "You have shown me a life i could only dream about back home while masturbating in my fathers woodshed!" "This vaginal discharge won't let us partake in the par-tay!" "Write that down." "you, you, Pussy Ass Mother Fucker!!" "Those damn circus midgets, they cannot hold their boose! (Courtesy of Anie and ZuZu)" "So you must be pre-med-dick" "This vaginal discharge wont let us partake in this PARTAY...Graphic" "if you can't see the potential in yourself, then you are a blind man" "What is that girl, a freshmen?
She reads at a sophmore level" "Lady: So Van are you in Richard in the same Faternity? Richard: No No Van is not quite Delta Iota Capa material. Van: Richard you rascal you never told me you were a dick..not like ya had too" "Ohh, all this time I thought it was because I messed around with your daughter freshman year.......you messed around with my daughter?.....hahahaha WHAAAT?" "I'm just trying to light this bong....thats no bong thats for my slong....you mean I put my mouth on your cock pump" "Do you know where I can find Van Wilder? In the Guiness Book of world fucking records for being the raddest fucking dude alive!" "MAIL IT IN....mail it in" "Van, I just.....NOOO!!! (door slams)" "It's a good day to die McDougall" "I'm gonna need a few cocktails before I start coughing for you guys." "If he's up here, who's running Hell?" "Vans still in school?.....for the better part of a decade" "I know Mrs. Packman is special. She's fun, she's cute, she swallows..." "Is that all you people think about? Now I agree I applied for this job because I wanted to cut loose and shake my rump, but I do not believe that this dilemma can be solved by partying." "Hey guess what. I'm feeling a coldsore comming on. Maby we shouldn't do this for another 3 to 6 months." "Fill this out. It's the standard extenction payment plan.
You mean we didnt have to do all that?
But arn't you glad we did?" "Hey guess what I'me feeling a cold soar coming on. Maby we hould do thi for 3 to 6 weeks." "Sweet Joseph my son's a fairy" "sometimes you just have to follow your heart, even when it leads you somewhere you know you shouldn't be" "van: great...then its a date
gwen: its not a date its an interview
van: gwen all first dates are interviews
" "Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say cow because they are sacred, but I hear milk, I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder. " "Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say cow because they are sacred, but I hear milk, I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder. " "Dont be a fool, wrap your tool. Crazy kids with their VD." "I was the first male cheerleader ever....EVER!" "hi, my name is Tara............ MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm BLEEDING!!!!!" "1.write that down. 2. i don't have a pencil. 1. well, remember it then. " "I hear milk, I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving! To To, smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I want to do, how is it park the porpus you know. I want to take it through the car wash baby you know and get it waxed. Wax it wax it! And air dry, air dry that shit. And and… I would like to be your assistant very much mr. van wilder." "Write that down." "party for a couple of years" "Her names Naomi.....thats I moan backwords. " "If the glove dont fit, who gives a shit" "You know, you haven't lived unless you've shotputed blitzed on jager" "You can tell a lot about a person by the type of underwear they wear." "I want to learn the American art of muff diving." "worrying is like a rocking chair, gives you something to do but it doesnt get you anywhere" "I once partied with this guy who said dont take life to seriously, you will never get out alive, he always youst to ramble on about the difference between light beer and dark beer, weird, but good advice." "Worring is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesnt get you anywhere." "Never take life to serious, you'll never get out alive" "Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Write that down." "So pack up your panties son cause were heading home!" "don't be a fool, wrap your tool." "Damn circus midgets!!!!" "Don't be a fool... STAY IN SCHOOL!!! " "I want to take it to the car wash, wax that shit!" "1) Get in. 2) I'm not getting in there with you. 1) If you want the interview you'll get in here with me.........What happened? Is everyone okay?" "1.)Alright!, hey Gwen! You're just in time, take off your clothes. 2.)I'm not taking off my clothes! 1.)Well, it is the Naked mile run...everyone's in their Birthday Suits haha......cept for that guy." "Don't take life to seriously, you'll never get out alive!" "Are you stalking me? Cause that would be Super!!" "1)It's like this itchy, burning, rashy sensation. And it hurts when I... 2)Dance? 1)When I pee! 2)Hooked up with a burner, didn't you? 1) Yeah. 2)Seemed like a nice girl, said it was her first time? You should always check the quality of the turf before you step out onto the field. Listen, go to the campus hospital, see Stu. Tell him _____ sent you. And remember, don't be a fool, wrap your tool. 1)Thanks, ____! Thanks a lot! 2)Don't thank me. Thank penicillin." "1)This ball club is the heart of this institution. You win, it beats. You lose, it breaks. You're not boxin out, Big Poppa. You're my Windex man, I want you shining glass. Quentin, we gotta D up out there. Darius, I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake. What're you looking at, Suzie? Your mom called, said you left your legs at home. For God's sake! I'd do anything for you guys, which is why I'm throwing you a little soiree tomorrow night. But not without a W tonight. You wanna know why? Cause nobody likes to celebrate a loss, guys. 2)Hey, man, you gonna invite those freak honeys from Mt. Holy Oak? 1)I already did. They said they would try to make it if they weren't humping the Matadors. 3)The Matadors! 4)Come on, guys! We got a ball game to win!" "For the first time in my life, I'm glad I'm deaf. I can't hear the BOO's." "That looks amazing. That is perfect. You're a pro. A pro. Hey, look at me. PRO." "Jeanie will you shut the hell up I'm tring to pleasure you
Sorry richard pleasure away!
PS. this room rocks!
P.S. shut the fuck up" "experiences don't make life... they are life. write that down." "It's the Internet, dude. Fries their brain cells." "I think I've had these before!" "sometimes you just have to follow your heat, even when it leads you somewhere you know you shouldn't be"
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